In Memory..

I had to put my kitty cat of 10 years down :(

I think there should be some sort of law that no pregnant girl should ever be allowed to do such a thing. WAY too emotional! 

Topher my kitty ( Ella named him b/c of his fuzzy toes :) was deaf so he never really knew his name anyway, we resorted to kitty cat most of the time) was the sweetest cat. A true lap cat. That would curl up on your lap and fall asleep purring. Which to me, was the perfect de-stresser at the end of a long day. I miss that the most. He always was the nicest kitty to the kids, put up with lots of hair and tail pulling and dress ups, a good little buddy to tag along in their fun.

I'm writing this down more to vent my feelings so it may be long and involved as a warning to you if you choose to read on :)
This was a total unexpected thing to me. The cat was acting sick, so I thought I'd bring him in to get looked at. If I would have known how it would have turned out, I would have never brought the kids with me. The trip to the vet was quite the living nightmare, I had no idea how sick he was, but knew something was wrong.

I feel like a irresponsible pet owner since the whole time we lived in SD I never took him to the vet, but to my defence we were students and we didn't even have insurance while going through school, so how could I justify taking my cat when we never went to the Dr. ourselves?! But, now Dan has a good job, we have insurance, seemed as good of time as any to finally get the visit to the vet crossed off my list of to-do's.

Here is how the series of horribles all went down...when we 1st got there, they told me he had a massive tumor on his bladder and he was in a lot of pain, he would need to have an emergency operation right then for $4000 (not kidding I gasped) AND it was not a guarantee he wouldn't have to have follow up surgeries etc. meanwhile as they are telling me this devastating news, Ollie is running a muck through the office, since he has finally figured out how to open doors, he thought it was a good idea to run from room to room which resulted in a meltdowns on the floor once the door was locked and he couldn't leave. Then Ella started crying "Is our cat going to be ok?" All the while the nurse is pestering me if I have my paper work filled out...You kidding me lady? uh, no. I'm chasing my kids trying to calm a melting down 18 month old all the while getting this crazy news that my cat is not gonna make it? Ya the paper work has not been filled out yet.

To top off I called my hubby to talk over the choice we had to make. To give you some background, Dan has never liked or wanted a cat, the fact that he has been "putting up" with him for the last 10 years and the fact he has had to change the cat litter for the past 6 1/2 months since I been preggo left him a little less than sympathetic. Which added to my emotional stress since he acted a little excited that the cat might not come home with us that night. He really was not helping the situation at all. I called my sister who helped me gain some control of this crazy chaotic nightmare. She calmed me down, I had Dan get the kids and then I was left to make the call on my own with out any distractions.

I decided that it might be a poor quality of life having to keep having surgery after surgery and not to mention a huge money pit. I made the call to put him down. Once the decision had been made all my emotions from the building up stress and chaos from earlier craziness surfaced and I had a giant meltdown myself. In fact, I down right say I started to sob. The ugly cry kind of sob. The poor vet posed as my physiatrist trying to help comfort this poor crazy preggo chick and even laid out brochures for hot lines I could call if I needed help. It really was an meltdown that was brought on by a series of things that all lead up to it. But it was sweet the vet thought I needed to be on suicide watch ;)

I loved my cat and it was so heartbreaking watching him pass (one of the saddest things ever ever!) I miss my sweet cat, he was deaf and maybe a little dumb but really really sweet and loving and I still get teary just thinking of him. So since I write this blog as my journal I wanna remember my sweet kitty and how much fun my kids had with him as a little type of memorial.

Dont look at my ugly cry face and runny mascara
but It was nice to give him one last snuggle

A few baby Ella and Topher videos make me smile :)

Ella kitty cat tag